Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Sickness Within - Anger

Was anyone else as guilty as I am about anger issues on Sunday? Like Pastor Scott said, "You can be a Spewer or Stewer". Which one are you?

I think I might be the worst kind. I was once a "stewer", keeping all records of any wrong doing. Then I became a "spewer". I no longer kept a record of wrong doing. Instead I became the shotgun Pastor Scott referred to. I just blew up all over the place and if I stayed around long enough then I would pick up the pieces later. I might be a better comparison to a cannonball than a shotgun.

I think the first step is really admitting you have a problem. I can't tell you how long I've been a "spewer", but my family could. I really can't remember the beginning of it because I didn't realize I even had a problem. The last couple years my husband and children confronted me on it and I have been working so hard to control my temper. Although, I am far from perfect at least they are able to talk and tease me about it now.

For me the scariest part of my actions is that I am trying to raise two children. Do I really want them to grow up and be like me or even marry someone like me? No! However, if this is what they grow up with, they will begin to think my actions are "normal". I may be able to hide my temper from some people and you might be able to as well, but you cannot hide it from your family and especially your children.

Pastor Scott says often, "The question is not whether or not you are being watched. It is whether or not you should be followed". I want to be followed as a Godly woman. I don't want to be followed as someone who has control issues, but can't control her own temper. We have to admit our faults and work on our weaknesses. "The LORD is compassionate and gracious; slow to anger, abounding in love." Psalms 103:8

I pray that God will continue to work on us all. I pray that we take this kind of wrong anger and turn it into sanctified anger that leads us to do righteous acts. I pray that we may all become more like Him.

Melissa - Mid Week Minder Team

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